It’s been a bit of a crappy few weeks if I’m honest. I’ve managed to get myself so run down that the bugs of the ‘winter’ have been at me. I’ve been feeling unwell on and off for about a month and I was really starting to get worried. I went to the doctors yesterday and she said that there is a lot of horrid bugs about and just to rest and recoup. I have done that and I’m looking forward to work tomorrow and hopefully nothing will come back and get me!
I’ve been stressing about everything and I mean everything. I really need to learn to chill and let life wash over me and go with the flow. Unfortunately or fortunately, whichever way you may view it, I am a massive thinker. I never used to be but I think the last couple of years have made me question rather a lot of things. I worry constantly that I’m not doing well enough be it work, kids, diet, friends or whatever. I worry about being on my own and worrying that what I do affects me and the boys. Thankfully they are wonderful kids who cause me very little worry. They do their work, they exist along side me in a harmonious(ish) way and for that I am truly thankful. If they were a pain, life would be doubly hard.
My anxiety has been top notch recently too. I have been stressing about these kidney cysts I’ve been told I have. I asked the doctor on Tuesday if they had heard anything back from the consultant and apparently I was referred on the 9th of this month so fingers crossed they get on with seeing me and we can sort the buggers out! I just want to know if they’re still there and what they expect to do with them if they are. Hmmm we shall see and to deal with the anxiety around that, I will keep myself busy!
My degree starts on 4th October and I’ve been using the last couple of days to do some investigating on the OU website. It all looks bloody scary to me and I’ve had a sneaky peak at the assessments and they don’t look too bad. I think the child psychology module is going to tie in well with the knowledge I already have. I love psychology and I love child development and all the interesting factors that go with it so I will be going for it. I will be going for top marks! I’m worried about the writing and the academia but I will give it my best shot!
On a positive note, I’m smashing this slimming world shizzle. I’ve lost 17lbs so far and I’m feeling really good. I’m trying to cook different stuff and being a bit more adventurous. I will have to be a bit more prepared once the hard work starts. I shall be making more use of the slow cooker that’s for sure!
I’m really wanting my new boobs so that’s keeping me focussed and I know that once you start to lose the weight it does become a bit more perpetuating. I love success in whatever I do so to actually start to see results is awesome. I’ve lost 4 inches off my waist and the odd inch here and there so it’s happy days. I’m starting to see my buddha belly disappear and I’m starting to feel a bit more confident. Now all I need to do is try to squeeze some exercise in. I think the only time will be first thing in the morning so we shall see what happens there! It’s taken me such a long time to get to where I am now in my head and once I get my kidneys sorted, I’ll be very happy again.
So that’s me for now. I don’t even know if anyone actually reads my drivel but if it helps someone, I’ll be really happy with that!
Lots of love,
Viv xxxxx
Starting life breast free and living it! 